A Letter to Myself for 2014

by Rachel Holmes

This year has been ultimately a very good one. You did your best to be true to yourself all the while becoming closer to the person you are meant to be.

Don’t be so hard on yourself for not changing the world yet. Your career will fall into place when you actually become determined enough to go get it. When you really really want it, it will happen for you. You have got such a fierce determination when it comes to things you put your mind to, remember that in the New Year to come and go bravely into it.

Keep learning to love yourself, it is truly the key to happiness and I’m so glad we discovered that in 2013. Stop stressing about your body. You’re tiny and curvaceous and have a great ass. Stop letting yourself think you need to go to the gym, and go when you feel inspired. No one needs a flat stomach, but we all need dessert. Eating and drinking are some of your biggest joys in this life and in 2013 you really realized that no dream body is worth missing out on wine, cheese and new restaurants. Don’t let yourself go in 2014, but always remember belly fat is healthy too.

Tell your friends you love them more in 2014. They were so incredible in 2013, and you could not have done it without them. They wore your heartbreak like it was their own, and you cannot forget all the countless times they were by your side. They saved you, and in 2014 they will most likely do it again. You need them more than you know. You surround yourself with fun, beautiful and brilliant women for a reason. Try to become more like each and every one of your girl team. Learn from them more. Love them more. And make sure you are always there for them like they are you. Support them, guide them, and don’t ever forget they are your sisters, your teammates.

Don’t be afraid to be more in love than you ever thought possible. You have such an amazing connection to such an incredible person and it almost seems unreal sometimes. Your relationship was really tested in 2013, and I’m so proud of you for how strong you held on. Keep learning to forgive him, and do not forget that no relationship is easy. You learned in 2013 that you can give your all to someone who has hurt you, and it doesn’t make you weaker. Let go of your insecurities and worries and enjoy being so in love with another person. Keep having insanely incredible sex, and enjoy the passion of your entire love affair. You may never experience such a deep and real connection with anyone else, don’t waste it and don’t let yourself ruin it. You learned in 2013 that you really don’t need him, don’t forget that and don't let yourself think it again. He complements the person you are, but he is not who you are.

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Spend more time with your family, especially your nieces. Trinity is growing up so fast and every week you go without seeing her you’re losing the chance to bond with her into her young adult years. Don’t be scared to influence her, morph her into a young feminist. Teach her what is important to you, and why. Bring her to volunteer and give her that part of you. Aubrey is getting older and older and you don’t want to miss out on those silly fun years. She’s only going to be this little once and you will hate yourself if you feel like you missed any part of it. Give her more raspberries on her tummy and put your phone down and play with her instead of trying to get the perfect picture to Instagram.

You will turn 25 this year. You are a woman now, and I’m proud of you. I love who you have become. Keep growing, keeping learning, keep experiencing. Try to travel more. Pleeaasssee try to travel more. It will only help you learn more about yourself. Wear your glasses more. Read more. Journal more. And, for the love of god, please lose the road rage, you’re gonna give yourself wrinkles.