Zora Neale Hurston said "There are years that ask questions, and years that answer." Talking to a friend the other day, she mentioned that the last few have felt like nothing but questions, and I couldn't help but agree. Is there a tangible unrest hanging in the air or is it just like Ye said at the MTV awards: CUZ WE THE MILLENIALS, BRUH.
Whatever the reason, I'm trying to embrace question-asking with a little more gusto these days. So much of what we're inundated with through social media are supposed "answers." The answer to your bad day? A perfectly curated instagram post with a cup of coffee, a chunky sweater, and the latest issue of Vogue. The answer to your shitty mood? A vegan smoothie with a side of new yoga pants. I'm not hating on that because I LOVE IT. You know I do. I love going on the internet and feeling like things are pretty and put-together and motivational. That's what it's there for, it's an escape. But can I tell you something? I'm sick of pretending I have more answers than questions.
I don't really know what I'm doing half the time, which can make it feel inauthentic for me to believe I have anything worth saying. But over the past few months I've realized something: I do know how to sit in that discomfort. I do know how to take care of myself even when the questions outnumber the answers. And I'd rather have a voice that helps others be ok with their own questions than no voice at all. I'd rather put good things into the universe than hope someone else does. After everything the internet can put a girl through, I still have a small hope that someone could come to S&TF to feel a little better about her own questions, whether they last a year, or two, or never stop.
Because the truth is, no one has this shit figured out. And if someone claims they do, RUN. Double tap that photo from a distance, but please don't start comparing yourself to their constructed persona of perfection, because it isn't real.
I'm not writing this to sound like a defeatist or a pessimist. In fact, giving in to the questions of life has forced me to be a little more positive. If none of us knows what the hell we're doing, why don't we enjoy each moment for what it is, even if it might not be perfect? Why don't we go easier on ourselves and others with more compassion and care?
So welcome back to the fox den. I may not have all the answers, but I have a ton of questions. For you, for myself, for all of us to think about together.
PS - I want us to take care of each other and ourselves a little better. Let me curate a self-care package for you each month? Starting in November, you can have scotch & the fox goodies delivered right to your door. Stay tuned.