Hey, you moping sad sack-of-pathetic potatoes. Cut it out! Trust me, I've been there and I know how hard it can be. Just three months ago, my boyfriend of five years broke up with me and unfortunately I have spent WAY too much of my precious little life since then being a sad-face emoji. It may seem like the world around you is ending, and in a way it is. But guess what? There's more world out there than you can even imagine. It's taken me three months to realize that life is good again. I've finally found myself in a place of pure contentment and I've realized that I wouldn't even go back to where I was in January if anyone begged me to. So here is what I wish I had accepted earlier.
YOU'RE ONLY IN YOUR TWENTIES
If you had asked me a few months ago, I would have told you I feel so old. I found myself in my first full-time career, living with my boyfriend and our cat, pondering children's names and making future plans. But now, as a 25-year-old single woman, I suddenly feel so young. IT FEELS GREAT. I am just beginning to discover who I am as a woman. Our twenties are made for self-discovery and now you're able to discover who you are, alone. It's so liberating. Spend your nights alone and evaluate what YOU want and then do it. You're no longer defined by "we this, we that"; now it's time for you to be all "me this, me that". Get your own apartment. Live by yourself. Move to a different city. Date around. Kiss (almost) everyone that wants to kiss you. Get a dramatic haircut. Get a tattoo, or get your nipple pierced. Go find a new job. BE SELFISH. Be crazy and young and free and explore every single one of the opportunities available to you.
YOU WILL NOT BE ALONE FOREVER
Please. Please, please, please don't even let this be a passing thought in your mind. Despite being a cliché statement your mother may tell you, there really are so many fish in the sea. And you, my beautiful mermaid, are now swimming free. Explore! Despite what you may have thought, or tried to convince yourself to think, your ex was obviously not the person for you. If someone isn't sure they are ready for a serious relationship, find someone who is. If they would rather focus on their career and not you, find a person who is interested in investing their time in you. If they have an ego that needs to be stroked by other women: BYE. Find someone who desires you, and only you. Never let yourself settle for someone who isn’t right for you just because you love them. Now, you know what you want and what you deserve. Go find the person YOU want.
NOW IS THE TIME TO LOVE YOURSELF
I realize you're sad and you miss them, but despite what you think, listening to them tell you they love and miss you will not help. The "I don't want to lose you forever" line? Don't buy it, and don't take it to heart. If they ended things, they have chosen to lose you forever. Be smart and use the ignore feature on your iPhone a lot sooner than I did. Do yourself a favor, and commit to the health of your own heart. Don't see them and for the love of god, don't kiss them. Don't let them tell you that you are the love of their life and that they will fight for you someday. Don't call them when you're drunk or go places where you think you might run into him. Cut ALL ties, and move on. Stop checking their social media constantly, and don't compare yourself to whomever they choose to spend time with next. Don't let yourself think you did anything wrong, if you didn’t. Don't drink too much. Don't binge on comfort food. Exercise to clear your mind and feel good about yourself- not to show them what they are missing. Take ALL the love that you put into them, and throw it into yourself. Go out with your girlteam, or that cute boy who smiles at you. Laugh and live your life and remember that only YOU define YOU.
I'm not going to lie; going through my break up has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But guess what? People have been going through breakups for thousands of years and the world still moves on and so should we. Life is too short. Take a deep breath and look ahead at all the brightness. Now what's next for YOU?